I agree with you Savvy! I can't believe his parents would do such a thing to him. I would be furious with my parents! I hope it works out for your boyfriend! Good Luck!

These people committed a CRIME! AND they violated the inherent trust between parents and their child. No way should your boyfriend be working and paying off those debts - they need to step up and be responsible for the mess they have put themselves in! I feel so sorry for your boyfriend, and I know it will probably be the hardest thing he has ever had to do, but he needs to press charges against them and get these debts removed from his name!

wow, I have to go home and hug my parents this weekend

Man, what a tough situation. I always say there is nothing that my family could do that would make me stop speaking to them, but this sure comes close. I'm not sure whether or not I would be able to press charges, but I'd certainly take a good long look at it and weigh all the options carefully. But making sure that they cannot continue to victimize him in this way is definitely essential.

That's so horrible and irresponsible. They'd better step up to what they did. It's not fair for your boyfriend AT ALL.

I can believe his parents did this b/c I have also had family do this to me. Savvy gave great advice, police report is the way to go, I tried the paying off route as well and its hard to make settlements and its hard to pay money back especially when its over 10k. Your bf should also think about freezing his credit and alerting the SS that his SS is being used fraudly.

If he does not file a police report ---he can not fight with the credit cards, his only way will be to pay them off.

bella, that is awful that this happened to you! Thanks for giving some "been there" perspective. I can't tell from your post if you filed charges or not....did you?

This may sound stupid, but can he get a new SS number and start over with a clean slate, given the situation?

It isn't fair for him to pay off their debts for the rest of his life...especially if this is preventing him from going to school. He needs to alert the authorities and get this taken care of asap- before it becomes too late. I'm sure it will be painful to go against his family... but really, any parents who did that to their kids need a kick in the ass anyway. They need to be responsible for their own debt and mistakes instead of ruining their children's lives.

If I was him I'd go to the police. Clearly the parents have not learnt anything, he pays off their debts and they get to keep living a life they can't afford, meanwhile he is the one paying the price. This is the kind of stunt my parents would try to pull if it was possible in the country they live in. People say oh they're your parents, you should help them out. Precisely why you should turn them in.

MartiniLush, I was like the bf, I tried paying it back. I bet he feels guilty about his parents making the debt and having to result; and I bet he feels he should help them out b/c they are family. For the last 5 years, I have been working hard to clean my credit up, I was paying off most credit cards, and I was working 3 jobs at one point while I was going to school to clean it up. Last 2 year, I stopped paying and the ones I couldn't afford to pay (I don't have debt of my own except student loans), I filed a police report.

The problem is once you file the police report, you still have to stay on the credit card company or collection agency to remove it and it should be done before they rotate or sell your case to another company. It's a lot of letter writing, faxing, and resending information.

He really needs to contact the police, Social Security, and each credit bureau to red flag and potentially freeze. He will not get the money back from his parents at this point but it will help him in the future when he wants to buy a house or with a job that looks at your credit report.

The sad thing is this happens to a lot of college students when they go away especially to another state and mail is being sent with offers to their parents houses, I have been doing research for the last 5 years and most children feel its their responsibility to take care or help their parents (particularly if the parents lean on their children and the child has been taking the care giver role); and that is so hard especially when they are just making more debt.

He should look to see if they have gambling problems- I know that was part of the situation on my end.

I forgot to add he may be able to get a new SS number but I doubt that, he may just have notes on his credit if anyone inquires. Its very hard to get a new SS but it is possible.

Sorry for all the post, he should pull his credit report (all three) to see what is actually on there and what he needs to take to the police if he chooses to file a report. He also needs a piece of mail or a letter from the school during the time he lived there to show that he was not at his parents address.

wow - that's an awful situation to be in. i would assume that if he checked out his credit report, then he would be able to find all the accounts that are opened under his name. Not that you can really consider doing this if it's family, but that's fraud - if they opened accounts using his information - without his permission......

Bella, keep the posts coming because your experience, sad that it had to happen, can only help him and all of us to learn from you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, congratulations on taking a responsible attitude and good luck with everything in the future .

I have to third the suggestion on checking the credit reports. It's sad that many do not know you can check it for free! Even with the stipulations as to how many times per year per compnay, it is access to your OWN information. You may not get your score, but it tells you ALL accounts opened under your name/social, addresses where you've lived, name changes, etc. This is a very important step that everyone should take once reaching legal age and maintaining annualy.

Thanks Lynne.

I think this is one more: the credit card companies and/or collection agencies will be try to dissuade you to pursue the police report b/c they want the money. As someone that is kinda consumed with this: it will eat at him, having to pay all that money back and even he may get resentful. I think the sooner he deals with this situation the better. I wish that someone taught me about credit reports and budgeting but when I found out that I had that much debt my only thought was omg I need to pay this off. I never thought about looking for a job even though I was in undergrad and then went to graduate school – I took jobs solely for two purposes to pay my low cost of living and paying off credit cards. That is the wrong way to live; it puts you further behind in your career and any goals that you set for yourself. I would also encourage the poster to talk to her bf and have him discuss with his parents (which may not help) but let them know he does not appreciate this treatment and that it needs to stop. I hope his parents will be understanding and stop but if not he may need to distance himself from them (which doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them, he just doesn’t like the way they live their lives and what they do).

Side note: whenever he talks to credit companies and/or collection agencies never tell them you live with your parents ---even if you do. Open up a PO Box or a UPS box and have all your mail going there.

Thanks Lynne.

I think this is one more: the credit card companies and/or collection agencies will be try to dissuade you to pursue the police report b/c they want the money. As someone that is kinda consumed with this: it will eat at him, having to pay all that money back and even he may get resentful. I think the sooner he deals with this situation the better. I wish that someone taught me about credit reports and budgeting but when I found out that I had that much debt my only thought was omg I need to pay this off. I never thought about looking for a job even though I was in undergrad and then went to graduate school – I took jobs solely for two purposes to pay my low cost of living and paying off credit cards. That is the wrong way to live; it puts you further behind in your career and any goals that you set for yourself. I would also encourage the poster to talk to her bf and have him discuss with his parents (which may not help) but let them know he does not appreciate this treatment and that it needs to stop. I hope his parents will be understanding and stop but if not he may need to distance himself from them (which doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them, he just doesn’t like the way they live their lives and what they do).

Side note: whenever he talks to credit companies and/or collection agencies never tell them you live with your parents ---even if you do. Open up a PO Box or a UPS box and have all your mail going there.

That is SOO terrible. I can't even believe it.

bella, thanks for that post! Such great advice and all the more compelling coming from your personal experience! I applaud you for being so responsible - I just think it is insane what you have to do once the police report is filed. I can only imagine the amount of time it has taken you to contact the creditors and reporting agencies, and I am sure that it is so frustrating and stressful. Identity theft is such a problem now, isn't there some agency or company that can help you out with getting your records cleared - maybe do the contacting of the credit reporting agencies or something on your behalf? Also thanks for the reminder about the annual checking of the credit report (Lynne, too!) - I usually do that around my birthday, but am making sure by putting it on my calendar right now!

MartiniLush, I don't know if there is a company that does that but it’s worth a search. But I had a couple of agencies threaten to garish my wages. I was so nervous I confided in a school mate, who had a friend that was a lawyer. The lawyer wrote letters on my behalf, it keep them off of me but the only true way the lawyer told me was to file the police report and follow up with the agencies, collections, and to alert the credit companies.

This breaks my heart... I hate seeing people so desperate that they do this kind of harm to anyone - especially family! Thanks so much for your information, bellaressa. I hope everything is working out for you! Good luck to the poster and her boyfriend.

this is horrible. i hope he presses charges on them. i know they're his parents but this is one of the most horrible things they could do to him (that i can think of right now).

What his parents did is illegal and wrong. I can not believe they put his financial life in such jeporady it is one thing to do to it to yourself but to have your own family do it is horrible. I am sure he is feeling like he has to help them but the reality is he is not doing them any favors by taking care of it. I think he should go to the police.

Poor guy...first of all, that is not his bad credit. It's his parents illegal activities that got him where he is. I realize they are his parents but he should have reported the fraud the same way he would if strangers had stolen his identity. He shouldn't have to go through life punished for something he did not do.

While I understand that the economy is horrible and people are desperate (my family suffered for a few year however we are getting back on out feet) I do not understand on how parents could do that to their child(ren). My parents would never do such a thing and any caring parent would rather take responsiblity for their financial debts than to take their child's life down with them (essentially it is the child's life they take down since ruining the kid's credit will lead to many, many troubles and worry.) I get they were desperate however what they did was downright cruel.

^ our not out.

this is terrible... i can hardly imagine what's it's like to go through something like this. it's not at all the same situation, but this story reminds me of my friend--years ago, her family "borrowed" thousands of dollars from her college tuition grant, and have basically told her that they can't pay it back. it's sad what families can do to each other when times are tough.

it did inspire me to do a full check on my credit report at all three bureaus, so

^whoops! i was going to say that this inspired me to give my credit report a thorough checking, so thanks for posting it.

How sad - I hope your BF files a report. He doesnt deserve to live like this thanks to his parents extremely selfish behaviour. Boy do I really respect my parents reading this. They would never ever do this.

Who do you do an ask Savvy? B/c I have a question.

Hmm, I've read that it's very difficult to get a new SS#. I was reading an article about a mother of two who had her SS card stolen out of her car by a young pregnant woman. The pregnant woman used HER name in the hospital and therefore all the mother's health information was changed to that of the pregnant woman's. Blood type, allergies, procedures done, etc. The mother also has a health condition where she might end up in the hospital at any time (I think it was epilepsy or something related), but she wasn't allowed to change the medical information because different hospitals and doctors and health-care providers and labs keep separate records and it's very hard to get a hold of every one. AND to make it even more ludicrous, she couldn't examine the records to tell them what to change because it would violate the privacy rights of the pregnant woman! And she was a freakin' thief!!

Identity theft is so scary... I really feel for your boyfriend. Of course he wants to help his family, but this is a mark that's going to be on his records FOREVER. Even if he wins millions and pays off everything immediately, the info will still be there.

Although it seems extreme to press charges on your parents, I HIGHLY suggest he does this. Once your credit score has gone down it is VERY VERY hard to repair, even for people who are victims of Identity Theft- which by the way, he absolutely is. This wasn't a co-sign situation it was FRAUD. And I can promise you that mess they have made of his credit will far outlast his parents if he doesn't take serious action.

Jail time would cure the problem for me - mom or dad, sister or brother - they didn't care about the about him why care about them.

My mom did something similar, but on a smaller scale. I found out that she had used my SSN to open 3 credit card accounts while I was in college. I didn't find out until I went to buy a car, and they showed me my credit report. Because I had thousands of dollars of debt on my credit report, I got a much higher interest rate on the car loan. That sucks, BUT my mom did a good job of paying the cards off on time.

Since then, I regularly check my credit score (my transunion score is provided as a perk on one of my credit cards that I opened), and I of course do the one free report per year thing. I also made it very clear to my mother that if she ever uses my SSN for anything else, I won't hesitate to take legal action.

It SUCKS to have to say that to your Mom. I just wish she would have asked, I would have helped her however she needed it.

mY MOM DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS TOO ME.. I OPENED AN BRANDSMART CC WITH HER SO SHE CAN PURCHASE A NEW WASHER BECAUSE HER HAD BROKEN. ME BEING THE GOOD KID LENT HER MY LINE OF CREDIT. WELL SHE PAID OFF THE WASHER. BUT THEN BEHIND MY BACK WENT AND PURCHASED A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS WITHOUT TELLING ME. SO, FIVE MONTH AGO I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL THAT I OWE $1400.00 OF PAST DUE AMOUNT. I'M A COLLEGE STUDENT THAT PAYS FOR CLASSES AND 1400 BUCKS IS ALOT. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WORK A 9-5 THAT PAYS A LITTLE BIT. I ENDED UP CALLING HER TO MAKE SURE SHE CUT UP THAT CARD AND SHE HUNG UP ON ME THINKING I WAS ASKING HER FOR MONEY. THANK GOD THIS IS THE LAST MONTH OF THAT BILL. I NEVER TOLD ME HUBBY ABOUT THIS BECAUSE HE WOULD OF HAD A FIT

Some of these stories are so amazing what parents do to their children. I can't believe the nerve of some parents to burden their children like this, it's shameful to say the least.

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