he told you you could go upstairs and you had a legit reason for opening the cabinet- looking at his pill bottles was a little unfair but who wouldnt look given the temptation? just give him time to cool off and explain yourself

Ethical concerns set aside, you should have closed the door before you reached for a bottle.

Well it wasn't cool but people gotta know that there's always a chance that people may snoop. Don't send them to areas where U have things that you may not want to be seen.

I was shocked when I saw a poll asking people if they snooped in their friend's medicine cabinets and the number that said yes was around 80%. Ever since then, I remove anything from the cabinet I don't necessarily want to 'share' before I have a party or guests.

For some reason, people seem to think it's okay to do that. I'm not quite sure why. They wouldn't open a draw in my bedroom, so why that? It's just strange.

But I say not forgive only because you hurt someone in the process. Next time, close the door and no one will be the wiser.

Don't you know you need to close and lock the door and either flush the toilet or turn on the faucet before snooping?

Only half kidding. I can see your friend being uncomfortable, but it sounds like he really overreacted by telling you to get out. I would be pissed if I caught someone, like, reading my journal or looking through my purse, but I tend to think a medicine cabinet in my bathroom--where other people go--is sort of fair game. If there was something there he didn't want you to see, he could have had you wait, gone in there, and removed the items.

Or maybe (depending on the pills), it's not privacy he's concerned with, but people taking his pills?

This guy sounds like a jerk and a pill head. forget you were ever friends and be glad he's not in your life anymore.

Umm, he could have something serious going on health-wise. I wouldn't jump straight to the "pill head" diagnosis. Geez.

Give him some time to cool off and apologize. He might want to keep a medical condition private, and you can tell him you either don't know anything or you will keep his condition to yourself (whichever is the truth--that's key here). He might need a friend more than ever right now, so this could end up being a good thing once he gets over the initial feelings of betrayal.

I was watching Tyra show.. and she was talking about how to entertain... and she had the tip of pulling like marbles in the medicine cabinet so when it opens all these marbles come falling down on the snooper! But I totally think that was an invasion of privacy, but I can't say I haven't done it... But who doesn't close the door!?!?! It's like that panic at the disco song I write sins not tragedies-- " I chimed in with a Haven't you people ever heard of... closing the goddamn door?

Don't people usually keep things like extra soap under the sink? That's where I would have looked first, makes me think you were just snooping and got caught. But it's forgivable, just give him time to cool down.

You can be forgive, but I hope you learned your lesson. When invited into someone's home. Whether or not you get permission to go somewhere in the house, you still have to respect a certain level of privacy. Just because this guy has lots of pills doesn't mean he's a pillhead. You neglected to mention if he lived alone or not. Some could be his, others could belong to someone else. We're not perfect vessels this day and age. There's medical problems warranting more than one pill. Whenever I get sick and end up at the doctor I sometimes end up going home with prescriptions for 2 or 3 different types of pills. I personally don't like taking those things, even vitamins but do when necessary. Does that make me a pillhead? Some people have to take 7 - 9 different types of pills a day to survive. Look, you were invited to someone's home but just because you were doesn't mean that invitation extends to the point where you end up holding their box of condoms in your hand or checking to see if the Vicadin in the cabinet is registered to them. You're looking for soap? If you don't see any, then don't touch anything else. He had every right to be upset. You went to use the bathroom, you left the door open, he may not have thought you were still in there, so maybe he came to check up on things (his house), he saw you in there holding his personal stuff (why? You violated a certain level of space/trust) that would make anyone upset. It can be forgiven, but gets some of the trust towards you revoked.

I think it's just unfortunate he caught you, especially since it was kind of an accident and you didn't DELIBERATELY snoop. It's easy to stumble across something you're not supposed to.

I said forgive.

I agree with babesio3. this was not an innocent mistake. who keeps soup in a medicine cabinet? You were snooping & got caught, plain & simple. It's forgivable, but it doesn't help to make up a lie about looking for soap.

ha, oops who keeps SOAP in a medicine cabinet? not soup...not that soup would be there either.

Yeah, toiletries are kept in a bottom cabinet. You're full of stuff, op.

Personally, I don't get why people look in other people's medicine cabinets. It is a violation of privacy to me. I did a poll on this very topic, on teamsugar a long time ago. If, I remember correctly, almost everyone said they wouldn't look into a persons medicine cabinet. I say forgive...but next time, state what you're doing when asked, and also don't look other peoples medicine cabinets. I would have gone to the kitchen and washed my hands. I want other people to treat me, how I want to be treated...so maybe that's why I don't go looking through any one's things...unless they ask me to and even then, it feels a little weird digging through my girlfriend's handbag. I hope your friend acknowledges your apology. The best of luck.

To make you feel better...I just looked at my old poll and the majority said, they only look to find something...like toilet paper. I guess the moral of this whole topic is 1) don't look and instead ask (also, make sure the bathroom already has toilet paper and soap before you use it) 2) if you don't want people digging through your stuff...don't let them in there.

Eh, it's up to your friend. But you should've at least explained (no matter how flimsy your excuse was) why you were opening things up and how curiosity got the better of you and apologized profusely instead of running out of the house.
Let him cool down and apologize and see where things go from there.

Absolutely not forgive.

Things like soaps and toilet paper are kept UNDER the sink or in a separate linen closet or cabinet. There wasn't a reason for you to be in the med cabinet in the first place.

He thought well enough of you, obviously. Well enough to believe that you wouldn't mind the mess, and definitely wouldn't pry into his business, especially because he hadn't cleaned up. You *destroyed* that trust by snooping in his meds. What would you have GAINED by finding out what takes? His medical situation is his OWN business; if he wanted you to know about his medical needs, then he would TELL you.

Wouldn't you be upset if someone you trusted *violated* your privacy like that? Imagine if YOU were in HIS position...would YOU forgive him? Personally, I wouldn't - and even if I did, I probably wouldn't EVER invite that person back in my house again. Don't be surprised if you've lost this friendship for good.

Ehhh, I wouldn't say even go looking under the sink, you don't live there. It would be better to go out the room, and a. wash your hands somewhere else, or b. quietly ask him if there is any soup since there was none...don't snoop even slightly, it's dangerous territory, especially if this could be your boss current or potentially future. It could turn out as a friend who could help you with something important. Snooping even in the slightest shows that you can't be trusted, even with the little things (let alone the big things at this point).

To be fair, I don't think she's lying. My family has always kept things like q-tips, deodorant and extra soap in the medicine cabinet. Our medicine is in the hall closet, but that may just be because my step-mom is a pill junkie and the bottles wouldn't fit in the cabinet. But, in any case, had I been looking for soap I also would have gone to the medicine cabinet. I think it's entirely unfair to say that "things like that are kept in a cabinet UNDER the sink," while I'm sure it's some sort of untold Emily Post thing that every single woman/housewife should know. My home has never been set up like that for as long as I can remember, and neither have the homes of many of our family friends. It was an honest mistake. Everyone is overcome by curiosity, and I know I'm guilty of looking at other people's medications. Forgive.

Also to the OP, like others said, just let him cool off. This can be forgiven, he may not trust you as much, depends on him. But a friendship shouldn't be a total loss. And this doesn't make you a bad person either. Everyone gets curious and people make mistakes. Don't let this eat you up. , I'm sure you're a good person at heart.

I only called him a pill head because of the way he reacted. If I saw someone snooping in my medicine cabinet I wouldn't react the way he did. He made her upset enough to leave the party. Not a normal reaction.

Forgive. If you really were just looking for soap and then read one bottle, good grief, I think your friend overreacted.
Which makes me wonder why he reacted so strongly...? Who keeps something they want to keep so secret in a medicine cabinet in the bathroom, even if he wasn't going to let anyone use it...come on. You should have stayed and just told him you were looking for soap though, instead of running away. It just seems like everyone is over-reacting about something that really isn't a big deal...I dunno.
And maybe there wasn't a bottom cabinet, and that's why OP was looking in the medicine cabinet for soap.

I agree krae...he seemed to react way to strongly...

Forgive. My medicine cabinet isn't obvious - it's a drawer in the kitchen... fooled!

TwistandShout: about the "under the cabinet" thing: I had inserted "typically" before that whole phrase, but I took it out before posting because that hasn't been my experience, and I (probably wrongly) assumed that that's just how things are. Pretty much every house/establishment I've ever been to or been in has put things like that under the sink/somewhere separate...or they've left the medicine cabinet partially open so that a person could *see* the soap or whatever might be needed.

Even so, he wasn't expecting anyone up there to begin with, so he probably didn't feel the need to hide personal information like meds - or make sure the soap was in stock. @_@

Uh, FORGIVE! I'm more worried about why he didn't have any SOAP in his bathroom!! geez!

It wasn't intentional but a lot of people do it intentionally all the time. If he has something in his bathroom that he really didn't want someone to see then he should have removed it before he was having a party. If the RX was that bad, he shouldn't have it in a bathroom that someone other than him would be using. Innocent findings like these happen all the time! I say forgive!

I said forgive, but I think it depends on the level of friendship. If it's a best friend, or really good friend that you've know for YEARS, I don't see why they wouldn't forgive you. It might take some time, but it will happen eventually. Innocent snooping isn't a very valid reason to end a friendship, unless someone got hurt in the process, which obviously isn't the case. He's just embarrassed and probably a little angry that you were going through his stuff. I think this is a time to dig up that well-used cliche "Put yourself in his shoes"..

forgive...and do the right thing and call and apologize for invading his privacy.

Forgive- but I have to say you really had no reason to look at the prescription bottles, obviously!

When I was in college, I had left a prescription bottle in my handbag, and left my dorm room for a few minutes. When I got back, my roommate and her bf were arguing, because he had decided to snoop through my bag and see what prescription I was taking, and she got mad at him. Yep, I was taking a medication to treat my very first UTI! What fun for me to have that awkward little fact revealed to everyone in his frat, even though he pretended to be embarrassed of his snooping ways at the time.

And I highly doubt your friend is a pillhead. People keep old prescription bottles if they don't finish them all, or have multiple medications for many reasons. I certainly do and I'm pretty healthy, but I've already gotten a little TMI here with the medical history.

I also highly doubt you were looking in the medicine cabinet for soap, seriously, lame excuse. Eeeveryone knows soap is under the sink. Sheesh.

Undecided.. I would like to say forgive, it was just one bottle and you didn't even see what it was.. but, then I thought.. what if he HADN'T walked in on you. you could have full out searched his cabinet. He didnt want anyone upstairs, trusted you enough to go there, and you broke that trust. One thing I cant STAND is when people go through my medicine cabinet. Mine make a loud-ish noise when you open the door so whenever I hear that when someone's in my bathroom, I know they're snooping and I get ticked off, so I can see why your friend is angry.

Oh, and I agree with everyone who said you were definitely NOT looking for soap in the MEDICINE cabinet.

Totally not okay. We had a friend that stole Ambien from us, so I'm a little touchy about this subject. If you confess and tell him why you did what you did, he might forgive you. You probably picked up a really embarrassing medication which is why he isn't talking to you. You invaded his privacy, even if you did have innocent intentions. He clearly did not want you upstairs, which is why he was checking on you, and he caught you doing exactly what he expected. Good luck.

Okay, I misread the part where you asked if you could use the bathroom upstairs. My mistake.

Not forgive. You knew exactly what you were doing..

Sorry, not forgive. Maybe it's just me but I don't go snooping into anyone's personal business. It is an invasion of someone else's privacy. I at least hope I could hold all my friends to the same standard.

yeah, anything in a cupboard is pretty much going to be seen by someone sooner or later. Your friend overreacted in my opinion, as anything you don't want seen by the outside world should be kept in your bedroom.

I'll be honest, if I'm at a potential boyfriends house, I totally look in his medicine cabinet. (With the door locked and the water running!) Why? Because my friend found out after she had slept with a guy that he had herpes, and all she had to do was look in his medicine cabinet and find his prescription for it. So, while I agree that it is totally wrong, I have to say forgive, because I don't want to be a hypocrite now. But, I know I would be annoyed if some one was snooping in my house, but by letting them in I run that potential risk so I wouldn't yell at them to get out and never talk to them. So, I do understand why he was upset, but I think he overreacted and you should just apologize to him. If he is still upset about it then, well, I think there are bigger issues than you looking through his medicine cabinet.

^ You do know that doesn't always work? I've had people go looking under my bed and go through stuff. I kept a little box with personal belongings under my bed in a spot where you have to really really reach under to get it. And well, I ended up putting the ban finger on my room where cousins are concerned. If it's someone's personal stuff no matter where the hell you are, don't go snooping. If it has to be "opened" leave it closed. No excuse. Do onto others. Everyone's making excuses but when in that same spot I'm sure you wouldn't like it. What're people really looking for in medicine cabinets, aspirin? It's still not yours, ask if you want to snoop.

I wouldn't do it to anyone. I have been through my friends stuff, but I was allowed to, and they have been into mine with permission. They can look through whatever I have, and if they need it, like lotion or something, feel free to use it.

I would be okay if someone did this to me. I understand curiosity, and I wouldn't keep anything horrendously personal in the bathroom anyway. Plus, with two bathrooms, I control where you go -- so it's not like you'd be in my bedroom going into my master bath anyway.

If someone snooped in my 2nd bathroom, they'd be horrified to find -- nothing.

Anyway, I wouldn't do it to anyone, because I just truly do not care enough.

p.s. why k