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Before a Breakup, Try Relationship Boot Camp

Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:00am by DearSugar
595 Views - 12 comments

It's normal for couples to disagree and fight from time to time. We argue about huge things like money, and little things like which TV show to watch. Sometimes if a couple isn't getting along, a little intervention may be necessary. You're probably familiar with couples counseling, but have you ever heard of relationship boot camp? It could be seen as the last shot to mending a broken connection or as relationship maintenance, like bringing your car in for its 30,000-mile tune-up.

Relationship boot camp workshops are cropping up all over since divorce rates are skyrocketing. Relationship specialist Terry Real thinks this is because people never learned the skills needed to connect to another person. In his three-day relationship boot camp workshop, he teaches the basics like how to communicate clearly and honestly, how to listen, how to deal with conflicts, and how to argue respectfully. Relationship miracles don't come cheap, though; be prepared to spend $1,500 a couple.

Is this something you'd be willing to try?

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12 Comments Add a Comment

  • kia's picture
    kia
    1

    This sounds awesome. It would be a great idea for an anniversary gift for me and my hubby to give each other down the road in a few years. We work at our communication and I can see us wanting to do something like this.

    Before marriage we did DIY marriage prep with "The Conscious Bride's Wedidng Planner" as well as a three day marriage prep retreat. Fun stuff.

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Deidre's picture
    Deidre
    2

    Had to take a couples course a few weeks back as part of our marriage preparation. It was great, and something I recommend for everyone getting married (or after marriage/co-habitation!). We talked about money, our family histories, our goals for the future. We'd covered a lot of this info on our own over the past couple of years, but it was nice having targeted questions. Helped fill in all the gaps on things we hadn't learned yet. But ours was only 1 day and $200...

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • princess_eab's picture
    princess_eab
    3

    Of course I'd try it! I'd have tried anything to save my last relationship, even though I'm now much happier. I never want to lose the guy I'm with now and $1500 is cheap comparatively.

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • moonwater's picture
    moonwater
    4

    Not for me. I just think it's over when it's over and there is no four-leaf clover.

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • jacrabbit84's picture
    jacrabbit84
    5

    That's actually a really good idea, Deidre. My husband & I did pre-marriage counseling...I'm kind of intrigued by the idea of looking through our workbooks together as our 1 year anniversary approaches in a couple weeks, to see if/how we've changed & grown in the past year.

    I'm not in this situation, but if I were facing divorce I'd definitely consider this relationship boot camp! $1500 is small change when you consider the expense and stress and heartache of going through a divorce; I can't even imagine.

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Muirnea's picture
    Muirnea
    6

    That's an awesome idea! Lots of people don't even think about that stuff, or they think they do it when they don't really. It's so important to be able to communicate well and argue well and all that stuff.
    Just a bit much to pay for a poor college student here, even if it is worth it.

    5 weeks 1 day ago Report Comment
  • Cadi Con Carne's picture
    Cadi Con Carne
    7

    I'd REALLY have to be invested on working things out to drop 1500 on couples camp. Honestly, if things are on the outs, then I have a feeling the reasons would be a bit deeper than a weekend retreat could buff out.

    This is, however, coming from a lass who's had a lousy relationship history, therefore my experience is totally coloring my judgment on this. If I'd had someone worth fighting for, I'd probably look at this quite differently.

    5 weeks 22 hours ago Report Comment
  • xopiperxo's picture
    xopiperxo
    8

    i wouldn't do it. relationships shouldn't be that hard. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

    5 weeks 20 hours ago Report Comment
  • littlelambie's picture
    littlelambie
    9

    Xopiperxo, that comment upsets me. I'm no believer in "meant to be". In fact I think its bunk and a fantasy imposed on little girls with Cinderella stories. Each relationship is different, and some need more work in others depending on the people and personalities involved. For some people, there is no "easy" relationship.

    If a person thinks saving their relationship is worth the investment, then this could be really helpful. Even relationships that can be "hard" at times deserve a fighting chance.

    5 weeks 9 hours ago Report Comment
  • socktree's picture
    socktree
    10

    Might be nice, but for some folks, the relationship has just run it's course. It's ok. Not every SO has to be a potential Mr. or Ms. Right. That doesn't even have to be a goal, ever.

    5 weeks 7 hours ago Report Comment
  • Berlin's picture
    Berlin
    11

    Some relationships just aren't meant to be, but I think if you are just having a bit of difficulty and are lost on communication, then it can be great! People believe relationships are supposed to be easy but who made up that rule? I mean, human beings are complicated enough on their own and I've yet to see more than perhaps one relationship (that was from a non-elderly couple!) that was considered to be 'easy.' You are trying to live with another person, and I believe that you make your happiness, it doesn't just get handed out.

    4 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment
  • Kat E's picture
    Kat E
    12

    Man, I would totally do something like this, but I can guarantee it would take lying and/or bribing to get my boyfriend to get there haha. He's the son of a psychologist, which means he thinks he knows ev-er-y-thing about relationships and human interaction haha.

    4 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment

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