IDoSugar -- Meant to be.

You Asked: How Can I Stop Being Used?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My last relationship was pretty hot and heavy, and when it ended over six months ago, it was because of his personal reasons — he said he needed more time to concentrate on his career — not because our feelings for each other had changed in any way. We remain friends but every time we have hung out, we have hooked up. All my friends tell me he is a jerk and that he's just using me, but when I'm with him it's like all the bad things he's ever done just disappear. I really want to stop hooking up with him so I can finally move on, but I'm not sure how to do that. Do you have any advice? — Being Used Brenda

To see DearSugar's answer,

To the Rescue: Bloat

PetSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:15:51 -0800

While bloat is a fairly common (even deadly) ailment, it is not another way to say a pup is overweight! Much like pharyngeal gag reflexes (aka, reverse sneezes), it has a serious scientific name: gastric torsion. This occurs when a deep-chested dog has a full tum (of food or water) and then engages in vigorous activity or exercise. Pups like this Great Dane have stomachs that are not attached to their ribcages, so when it's heavy and full (the "before"), it can flip around and block the intestinal track (the "after").

What other breeds are commonly bothered and how can you prevent this? Find out when you

You Asked: Is His Distance Normal?

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months now. From the start, I was aware that he suffered from mild depression but he happily and routinely takes medication for it. In the beginning, he was perfectly affectionate. The sex was incredible and I truly felt an emotional connection with him. He told me he did, too.

We met at work; I am a nurse and he worked on site in the maintenance department. About a month in, he was laid off and has since been collecting unemployment. He has been jobless for just about three months. He actively looked for a job for about a month, but he quickly gave up. He is being choosy — in my mind far too picky — and I feel like at this point, he doesn't have the right to do so. This is weighing heavily on our relationship. He is no longer affectionate. He is cold and distant to me. He makes no effort to hold a conversation with me, or think of things to do together. I can't explain it, but his tone has changed. He never initiates sex, and sometimes he even turns it down.

I can't take this pain much longer. I cook for him, clean his apartment, am at his doorstep within a half hour of him telling me he's lonely or misses me; I've even applied for jobs for him! I feel unappreciated, lonely, hurt, and simply unloved. What should I do? — Unloved Lauren

To see DearSugar's answer

I Need Your Help . . . Parents Just Don't Understand Cat's Needs

PetSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:30:05 -0800

A pal at Sugar HQ recently came to me with a problem, not with her own kitties, but with cats belonging to her parents. Seems like mom and dad want to let the felines roam free, but that's resulted in two cats in two years – kitty no. 1 ran off and got hit by a car and now kitty no. 2 (seen below) has been missing for a month.

Cecil's definitely a looker and could have easily found a new family on one of his outdoor adventures! She writes:

I begged my parents to let their pets be indoor cats and now that they want to get yet another cat, I don't know what I can say to get through to them. Any suggestions for what I can do to get them to keep their kitties indoors especially with cars and coyotes all over the place?

Ask a Bad Boy: Putting Out on the First Date

DearSugar — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, the author of The Manual, is back to answer another question for all of you — I hope advice from the male point of view helps! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them here or in the comments section below. Enjoy!

Dear Steve,

This is a debate I've been having with my girl friends for years now and I'd love to hear your take on it. Do guys have a lower opinion of you if you "put out" on the first date? Can a relationship ever come to fruition if there's no longer any sense of mystery? — Wondering Wednesday

To see Steve's answer,

You Asked: Should I Pass on Praise to My Ex?

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of five years and I broke up (rather awkwardly) last October and it completely shattered my heart. While we were civil and polite immediately after, we haven't spoken much or seen each other for about a year. I've since moved on, and I am confident he has too. Although I'm curious to know how he is, I hadn't really considered any contact until I heard a really nice compliment to him. I was at the local dog park a few days ago and some of the other women there were discussing the math programs at their kids' schools. One woman mentioned what a difference a certain teacher made for her son, and the particular school as well as the way she described him makes me 100 percent confident that she was talking about my ex-beau.

I know how much he loves teaching and acting as a role model to his students so should I write him an email to relay the praise? I want to respect his space and privacy, and my heart, so is this a can of worms I should avoid opening or should I just do it? — Do Good Greta

To see DearSugar's answer

You Asked: Should I Butt Into Their Relationship?

DearSugar — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

There’s a woman that I really like and can't stop thinking about. We’ve been friends for five years; we worked together but I was married at the time. I think she felt the same way. We were always very flirty with each other and she used to say things like “too bad you're married.” We would go out for drinks, lunches, and work parties together because my wife never wanted to come. We kissed once at the Christmas party but as soon as we realized what we did, we promised to never let it happen again.

I moved to another state for my wife’s job but soon after she decided she didn’t love me anymore and we divorced at the beginning of this year. I moved back home and I feel ready to date again. This woman I like is with someone else now and it's pretty serious. We are still very flirty when we're together and I think she knows I want to be more than friends with her. Should I risk wrecking our friendship by telling her, or do I wait to see if the relationship she’s in works out? — Unsure Sean

To see DearSugar's answer

Pet Peeves: Dog + You + Boyfriend + Cat = . . .

PetSugar — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 07:15:22 -0800

I'm always here to help all my Sugar pals with their furry dilemmas and the latest one deals with happy news . . . and move.

Q: I'm taking a big step on December 1 – I'm moving in with my boyfriend. The problem: he has a cat and I've got a doggie. His cat has seen my pup on a couple occasions when I brought him over, but he's never stayed more than a night in the house. Can you give me any tips on making the transition to our combined household go as smoothly as possible?

A: First off, I'm glad to hear your pets have already "met." You may remember the important role that senses play for both so that's how I'm gonna offer you advice.

Smell: Many times the cat will be more hesitant about this new living situation with a canine, especially with her strong sense of smell. You get her ready now by bringing over items that smell like your pet – I'd recommend putting a couple cloths or towels in your dog's favorite snuggle spot to gather his scent. Then bring them over and place under the cat's bed and food dish. Do the same thing for your pup, too!
See and Hear: Next, bring your dog over and let his cat see and hear your pup – keep him on a leash and don't let him get too close to kitty yet.
Interact: If all of that goes smoothly, then you can let the pets have monitored playtime together. Chances are kitty can escape doggy if she's not feeling social, but it's important to keep a watchful eye on their interactions until you're certain they can play nicely – or live peacefully – together in your new home.

Source

I Need Your Help... Should I Fly My Puppy in Cargo?

PetSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:30:49 -0800

Just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday, a TeamSugar user needs our help! I know Helly1211 isn't the only one with concerns about flying a precious pet in the cargo area of the airplane so I'm putting her question out for the group. She writes:

We'd like to take our puppy home with us for the holidays – she'll be five months old at the time of the flight and, since she's 14 pounds already, I know she will exceed the 15 pound weight limit to carry a pet on board . . . meaning she'll have to fly with the cargo.

I've called the airline and they've explained to me that Northwest has pet agents who are with the animal until the flight takes off, secure them in their kennels, make sure they have water/food, and be certain that pets are the last to board and the first off the flight. Also, their cargo cabins are pressurized, have ventilation, and are temperature controlled. We're taking a direct four-hour flight so there are no layovers, though there could be delays. Our puppy is crate-trained and is not scared of many things (fine in car rides, OK around loud noises, etc.).

Get the rest of this story – and comment – when you

Ask a Bad Boy: What Do Guys Think When They Gawk?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, the Author of The Manual, is back to answer his first question for all of you — I hope advice from the male point of view helps! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them here or in the comments section below. Enjoy!

Dear Steve,

What are guys thinking when they are "discreetly" checking out other women when they are in a loving, happy relationship? Do they have sexual thoughts like, "She's so hot I'd love to do her," or is it more like what I think, "Oh she's pretty," and leave it at that? — Curious Casey

To see Steve's answer