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In Love and Marriage, Do Traditional Titles Matter?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

The overturning of the ban on same-sex marriage in California has changed many lives and simultaneously sparked a slew of arguments. In fact, as reported by the Sacramento Bee, a recently wed couple — Rachel Bird and Gideon Codding — are starting their own debate over the wording of the new gender-neutral marriage license, which has changed the traditional reference of Bride and Groom to Party A and Party B.

Bird offered her own explanation, saying: "We are traditionalists — we just want to be called bride and groom," and for this couple, anything else is unacceptable; they refuse to sign the license as-is. The article also mentions that this particular fight is a personal one, rather than religious. But whatever the motivation for standing their ground, I find the attachment to these two words interesting. They do represent tradition and their cultural significance is vast, but are they truly necessary? When it comes down to it, do these types of traditional titles matter to you and your relationship?

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Is It Bad Luck For the Bride and Groom to See Each Other Before the Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Since I'm so traditional, you probably won't be surprised to hear that I consider it bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony. Of course some couples don't believe in that old-wives tale, and I'm sure those that do get a peek or even share a moment together before their walk down the aisle still live happily ever after. I'm just too superstitious to chance it. Are you like me? Do you think it's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before saying "I do"?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dressed to Ill: Bridal Edition

GiggleSugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:30:00 -0700

Wedding gowns were traditionally white to represent the bride's innocence and purity.
Not so much anymore.

Thanks, College Humor!

The Bridesmaid's Contract

DearSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0800

According to a recent poll done by You & Your Wedding magazine, one in five ladies are so concerned about their bridesmaids letting them down on their wedding day that they would consider asking them to sign a "prenuptial agreement." In response to the magazine's survey, the Telegraph writes:

It found that respondents' biggest gripes were with bridesmaids who put on weight, became pregnant, or changed their hairstyles before the big day. A series of suggested clauses included that bridesmaids should not consume more than 10 units of alcohol, or make any advances towards "inappropriate male guests" — or the groom.

I don't know what I find more ridiculous about this, the fact that a bride would have the gall to present this to her bridesmaids or the idea that her bridesmaids might actually sign it. If I'm being unrealistic and such a contract is necessary, please tell me. Does this seem reasonable to you?

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: Do I Have a Say in My Bridal Shower?

DearSugar — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Bride-to-Be Betty need your help. Should she tell her fiance's mother to travel to the bridal shower her mother is planning or should she let her future mother-in-law plan her own?

Dear Sugar--

I am getting married next August and have been diligently planning the wedding. I have to say I'm pleased that everything has been going pretty smoothly and nobody has been too opinionated.

The other day I was talking to my mom about the bridal shower she is planning in the Spring. It's going to be in New Jersey where my parents live, and she wanted to know if my fiance's family would come from Connecticut. I called my future mother-in-law to extend a verbal invitation and she told me that she's not too into traveling and was just planning on throwing her own bridal shower for her side of the family.

I was fine with it at first, but when I told my mother, she was a little turned off and hurt and then I realized that I was too. It's only about a 2 1/2 hour drive, so what's the big deal? I thought the point of bridal showers was to get all the women together before the wedding to celebrate?

Do I have a right to say something to my fiance's mother about this? Is it normal to have two different bridal showers, one from each side of the family, or do you traditionally just have one with everyone? I don't want to seem like an ungrateful or bitchy Bridezilla, so I'd appreciate any advice from former brides.

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You Asked: How Can I Lose Weight Before My Wedding?

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I recently was given the opportunity to explore other career options and have had lots of free time to focus on my fitness and nutrition. I've gotten really into it and set a goal of losing 15 pounds before my wedding date in November. I am 5'4" and when I started my routine/eating change I was 136. I'm down to 131, I work out six days a week...hiking, spinning, running, weight lifting, Pilates and yoga. Plus I'm keeping track of what I am eating. I eat six times a day small meals, lots of fruit, protein and veggies.

I use the website www.sparkpeople.com to track my eating and my workouts. The site gives me a caloric breakdown. According to the BMR I burn 1380 calories without doing any physical activity, so I've been burning an additional 500-800 calories a day plus only eating between 800-1200 calories. Why am I not losing weight??? I'm starting to get frustrated especially since I feel like I'm working really hard. Any
suggestions?

--Frustrated Bride-To-Be

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Bride Gets Carried Across The Threshold

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Well, kinda. As reality would have it, the groom hurls the bride over his shoulders like a jumbo sack of potatoes while huffing and puffing his way up an endless flight of stairs and then "romantically" collapses a few steps short of the front door. Ah, the stuff that fairy tales are made of.

Wedding Mishap

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 00:02:00 -0700

This bride has something to blush about beyond the fact that it's her wedding day-- perhaps it's whatever is floating in that wine she just sipped from? Eww. Meanwhile, the groom is rethinking the big kiss they're to share at the end of the ceremony. He has my condolences.

My Bridesmaids Stressed Me Out!

DearSugar — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I feel as though two of my bridesmaids gave me a lot of stress through everything leading up to my wedding. They didn't help with anything like the shower or bachelorette party. Everything that was expected from them (buying the dress, shoes, and getting their hair done) was a huge hassle for them, and they were constantly stressing me out over it and complaining about the price. This bothered me because they both work full time and don't pay rent. So, they probably have more money than me and I would never complain about this to them if they were getting married. I told them numerous times if them being in the wedding is too difficult or expensive then I would not be upset if they backed out of the commitment. This offended them both.

There's more. I originally told them they could bring guests. They both didn't know who to bring (one broke up with her boyfriend right before the wedding), so they waited until past the deadline was up to tell me their meal choices, stressing me out more. I told them repeatedly just not to bring anyone, but they were insistent about it. They joked around to my fiancé's parents about not being able to find dates. This made me feel stupid because his parents paid for the entire thing. The wedding was spectacular and afterwards I realized that it was wrong of them to act like they were doing me a favor and they should have felt honored to be there. Then the kicker is that neither of them (or their guests) gave us a wedding gift, not even a card. This upset me greatly.

These girls were really close friends of mine. Should I discuss these issues with them? I am not sure if it would do much good. I know it is rude to bring up the fact that they didn't bring gifts. Or should I lose them as friends, cut them out?

--Let Down Lucy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Get Physical: Partner Yoga for the Bride and Groom

FitSugar — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 02:30:00 -0700

Since wedding planning can be really hectic, why not relieve some stress by trying something new with your fiancé? When yoga poses are done with another, especially someone you care about, they can relax your mind, open your heart and deepen your connection. Yoga is great on your own, but when you practice Partner Yoga, you can achieve what you never could alone.

Interested? Check out the yoga studios in your area to see if they offer special Partner Yoga classes or workshops. It's a great way to learn partner poses from an actual instructor so you can ask questions and get help with alignment. Plus, with the two of you in the class, when you're at home practicing together, you can help each other remember how to do the poses (two memories are better than one!).

Can't find a class? Then